This poll was a little closer than the last one, but I'm a little disappointed with the results. For starters, where is all the love for the Irish accent?? It's really good, you guys. you don't even know. Anyway, it was a close tie between people really wanting me to stop annoying Grace, and total befuddlement as to what was even going on. 

 I will respect the will of the poll, and shall stop annoying Grace. The people have spoken. 

San Sebastian was just....the cat's meow.  Really loved this place.  We hiked, we ate delicious pintxos, we chilled on the beach. 

For some weird reason, there were these graffiti symbols etched all over the beach that didn't make any sense.

 I repurposed one to say Hal. 

Oh also, side note, jamon iberico is the greatest thing on the planet.  Basically they take these pigs that only live in Spain and feed them a diet of only acorns until they're fat and delicious and then they eat them.  It's prosciutto on crack. 

Speaking of culinary delicacies, the Spanish LOVE themselves some gelato.  Of course, ice cream of such richness and delicacy is too indulgent for Grace.  However, if one happened to buy oneself some gelato, and then attempted to enjoy it, one would find it quickly appropriated.

Alright that's IT for San Sebastian, folks.  Our time here was greatly appreciated, but now we need some big city, and some big rave. On to Barcelona. 

fucking cheap ass airlines have no skybridge

No time was wasted getting the lay of the land in Barcelona.  We landed around 6pm Friday night, got some amazing seafood tapas...

And got ready to go out.  The activity for the night was Boyz Noize at club Razzmatazz, one of Barcelona's premiere venues.  However, Boys Noize wasn't scheduled to go on until 4am.  So, we sat in our apartment and drank vodka with redbull until around 2am, at which point we headed out to take the metro to the club. 

HOWEVER

The metro was closed, because apparently, despite the fact that night life in Barcelona goes until the late hours of the morning, no one needs to ride the metro past 2am.  WHAT?? 2AM YOU KIDDING.  That is.  That is just stupid. 

Luckily for us, tiny hyper blonde fairies bouncing around in the streets waving in peoples faces make friends very quickly.  We met some locals who were also on their way to Razz and split a cab. 

hai Spanish friends thanx for adopting us

Ya also, pro tip, learned this in LA, buy tickets in advance to skip the line.  Take notes, children.
















               

Boys noize was awesome.  We stayed out until 7am and then walked home, which was simultaneously surreal and disturbing, as the sun was completely up and there were children playing outside.  GO AWAY CHILDREN.  IT'S STILL LAST NIGHT. 

The next day we woke up at a (fairly) reasonable hour  (4pm) and headed out to explore the city.  we found a kickass seafood market, where Grace silently stared at the aisles of fish until people started asking if she was ok. 

Then we walked to La Sagrada Familia, the church designed by Gaudi in the center of the city.  I'm not big into churches, but you guys, this place was awesome.  I think Gaudi was on drugs.  Or crazy.  Or both. 

Saturday night and it was off to Sonar Festival, one of the biggest annual electronic music festivals in Europe.  Headliners included Chemical Brothers, Laurent Garnier, and more. 

You get Coachella-esque bracelets that also have a little scanny thing on them, which you load with money and use to buy drinks. seems like a cool system, but in practice is annoying.  

gawd I can feel the hangover through the picture

Of course, two consecutive days of rave was not enough, so after sleeping in until 4pm again on Sunday we headed out to a festival on the marina, Kompact.

Cool place, chill vibes, great deep house.  Stayed out all night again, obviously.  

Barcelona has a lot to see besides raves, mind you.  At least, I think that's the case.  I'll report back later on that, because it might be all rave. hard to say at this point.  

We did go to this awesome park designed by Gaudi during the day on Monday,  really cool architecture and views of the city. 

#notimpressed

Today we spent pretty much the whole day at the beach in the Barceloneta district, which is kind of like Mexico meets Santa Monica.  Yes, I'm aware that's the second time I've compared a place on this trip to Mexico.  No, I do not think every Latin beach town in the world is Mexico.  That would be uncouth.

We were looking forward to finally having a night off to relax and recharge after the weekend, however, unbeknownst to us, we happen to have stumbled into Barcelona on the summer solstice, which marks the longest day of the year (and the shortest night), and therefore warrants the biggest party.  So, we're off to the beach to celebrate.....I'm not sure what....how short the night is? with the rest of the Spanish people, in the Festival de Sant Joan.  Viva Espana. 

Porto has much more of a "city vibe" to it than Lisbon did in my opinion, despite it being a smaller city.  Very cool river town with great views and great food. 

Also HELLO they had a gondola just like the one from the World Famous San Diego Zoo perhaps you've heard of it. Here is grace pretending not to be annoyed by the number of times I mentioned the San Diego Zoo over the course of a 4 minute gondola ride. 

So you come to Porto, obviously you gotta drink the Port wine. It was an experience neither of us were particularly looking forward to, because, if you've ever tried it, Port is extremely sweet and syrupy.  we took a tour of Sandeman winery, and learned why Port is so sweet, and 20 percent ABV, and all of the history and such, but I don't remember any of the facts because I was busy trying to unscrew the spigot on the giant barrels cause that's what Gaston does in Beauty and the Beast. 

But we did our duty and tried the port.  We both agreed it was too sweet.

 


We were only in Porto for a couple days, and it pretty much rained the whole time we were there.  As a result we mostly relaxed, hung out and did some light sight-seeing.  We did go out on Friday night, because it's the weekend and we both get anxiety if we feel like we're missing a party. 

As you can see, the scene is rather indistinguishable  from that of Lisbon.   You go into a small bar, get a drink or two, and then walk out on the street to drink it.  For the most part, you are served in real glasses, which left me confused as to how these bars aren't hemorrhaging money on lost and broken glassware.  One of the great unsolved mysteries of Porto. 

We found something resembling a club, with a faint doofdoof coming from behind a bouncer.

Grace:  can we come in?

Bouncer:  Yes! she come in free!

Hal: Oh. how much does it cost for me

Bouncer:  You are also free.

Hal: Oh. What time do you start charging entry

Bouncer:  Everyone always free!

Hal:  This seems like an unnecessary hurdle

Bouncer:  ....que?

Hal:  Thank you for your time. 

So we get inside and OHMYGOD this place is horrible

They stamped our wrists...does pago mean cat?

We sort of stood at the bar and watched in horror/amusement as a very small population of hammered people danced sloppily to what can only be described as a hybrid techno-mariachi music.  10 minutes was plenty of time to officially determine we hated it. 

We went to another "club" after that, this one was actually pretty cool it was called Plano-B, which I think is Portuguese for "cat", and they had two dance rooms, one which was techno (empty) and the other which was 80's american jams (packed).  The 80's room was great, they played the ghostbusters theme.  I dont have any pictures of Plano-B because i was getting kind of drunk, and yelling the ghostbusters theme in Grace's face took precedence over recording the event for posterity. Apologies. 

After that we decided that we needed food and found a kebab place that had a disco light in front, which I gleefully christened "rave kebab".  It was not as good as Lisbon pizza Kebab, but, they had rave lights. So. I mean. There's that. 

Now we're in San Sebastian, and this is my favorite place ever.  It's a cute little beach town in the North of Spain (yay new country), and they have the most awesome tradition here, PINXOS!!

Now I know what you're thinking, what is the difference between pinxos and tapas?  That's a good question, I don't know.  I think Pinxos is Spanish for cat. 

You get a drink and a plate, and you fill the plate with whatever you want, and then they charge you for what you eat.  And there's a whole bar district where every street is lined with pinxos bars.  So you just go from place to place and drink and eat everything.  Melissa Daniel, I'm looking at you.  This is our heaven. 

We also rented a car called a "Skoda Spaceback" (I know, right) and drove way up into the countryside to go to a super fancy restaurant for lunch called Extebarri.  It was amaaazing.  The meal took four and a half hours.  It blew my mind.  Be sure to check out Grace's Blog for pictures of the food.  

The restaurant was on this really pretty farm up in the mountains.  

I met a cow. I named her Anabel. She hated me. 

The End

Well the poll results are in, and it would seem that the best blog, by overwhelming support, is the concept of being a Chloe.  I’m a little surprised, especially since to my knowledge the real Chloe has, as of yet, not seen this blog.  But I guess the moral is that we all have a little Chloe in us.  Five of you voted for Grace's blog, which I have decided is an acceptable loss.

Grace finished the last of the hobnobs on the plane to Lisbon.  This was a little concerning from a safety perspective, and I worried that I would not be able to stave off the hobnoblin.  However, it turns out the true cure to hobnoblinitis is 80 degree weather. 

 Grace hated Dublin.  I mean, not really.  She had a good time, but I didn’t realize until we arrived in Lisbon, and she turned into a hyper 6-year old, that she was really not enjoying herself to her fullest potential.  Something about freezing rain kept her from really feeling like she was on vacation.  
                                 WHO KNEW

As you can see I'm adjusting to life in Portugal very well, the way a grown up adult would.

Jenny and Alex were with us for the majority of the time we were in Lisbon, and man, they are they best.  We had SO much fun together, and they are the best travel buddies anyone could ask for.  

Oh man you guys, there was this horse butt.  I'm not even kidding it was totally there. Man. That was hilarious. 














Hahaha I'm giggling right now just thinking about it.  Oh man. Good stuff. 

Grace asks me to take her picture occasionally.  When asked if I would appear in any of the pictures on HER blog, she responded with “mmm….it’s kind of a SERIOUS photo blog…” 

WELL.  I CAN BE SERIOUS

Oh man, speaking of serious, look at this sign they put on the subway doors here.  It’s like, don’t get hit in the crotch by the door LOL.  


Like who would do that.  As you can see by my face in the reflection, I was very pleased with my discovery.  Grace didn’t think it was as funny, even though I explained it to her several times. 

We took a day trip to Sintra, and went to this awesome palace called Pena, and went on a pretty killer hike.












  This is one of the opening archways to the palace. I’m pretty sure it’s called “Sea Hobo Teabags Clamshell” or something in Portuguese I dunno I don’t speak Portuguese.

Grace really liked the palace, at one point exclaiming, "this is crazy to be here because this is totally something I would pin on Pinterest on my Getaway board".  That's basically her highest praise.  

Over the course of the hike we passed a total of five "cafeterias" that were run by the national park.  I know there were five because I investigated all of them to see which one had the best snacks. Spoiler alert they were all the same and they were all terrible.  Here I am choosing between the shitty tuna sandwich and the shitty turkey pesto wrap. I chose the turkey. It was a mistake. 





Grace would ask me to take pictures of her occasionally, which i would “do all wrong” by “not listening to her” or something I dunno I wasn’t really paying attention.  The results, however, are a hilarious series of pictures I have titled,

 "Grace is not Impressed"

lol it happens to Sophie too it must be genetic

You can't tell but the kebab is wrapped in a pizza
 aka my fantasy

The food here is super awesome.  I won’t post too many pictures of food because that’s Grace’s job, and according to my newly appointed campaign manager, Dan Miller, I should stick to pithy commentary and not go head-to-head with Grace in the picture department if I want to win the "best blog" award.  Nevertheless I am obsessed with these kebabs.

They're SO GOOD.   Each bite is pure ecstasy.  When we get back to the US, after tracking down some hobnobs, I am going to Spitz in Eagle Rock. Who's with me

Also, when you look at the spinning log of meat, does anyone else have the urge to turn their head sideways, sink their front teeth directly into the log, and let the meat sheer directly into their mouth as the spit rotates? thats normal, right? guys?

omg I almost forgot, there are these adorable little scooter taxis here called TUK TUKS can you even believe that??  Aren't they adorable? I love them heheeeeetuktuktuktuktuk

If I lived in Lisbon I would definitely drive a tuk tuk


doesn't it look like a face

doesn't it

                                                                 ............

...tuktuk

 At night we went out in the Bairro Alto district, which we agreed kind of feels like Mexico.  This guy was walking around trying to sell glowy toys and necklaces to tourists, and as we saw him coming Grace said, "Ugh you guys...this guy is gonna pick on me I am his prime target. Try not to encourage him."





and sure enough




Basically, we were all just saying "no no no" and trying to wave him off the entire time, but he just kept putting stuff on Grace and squeaking this ducky toy in her face, and we just couldn't stop laughing so our "no's" didn't carry a lot of weight.  

We walked around, and partook in this ancient Portuguese custom called "drinking heavily in the street".  It's so cool to be immersed in a completely different culture! We did their national ritual of "railing shots", and listened to the song of the indigenous Portuguese people, "Turn Down for Que".  I'm learning so much.

And now onto the main event, pictures of Grace taking pictures. Grace really brought her A-game in Lisbon, and you should check out what she's actually looking at over here at her (inferior) blog. 

Jenny wanted to be a part of the team but didn't have a camera, so instead offered valuable moral support.

You might be asking yourself why they didn't just ask me to take the photo, since I was standing right there taking it anyway, and if so, you do not understand the unbridled joy that is the selfie stick.

I don't even know how she did this where are her legs

this one made it to Instagram, but for those who missed it, here it is.  Basically I was trying to take a nice picture and Grace just walked up like "OUT OF THE WAY" and took hers anyway and then said something like "OH DID I RUIN THAT" and walked away

stay tuned for more updates, as the quest to find a suitable hobnob replacement continues